Why We Talk to Ourselves (And Why It’s a Power Move)

No, you’re not losing it—your inner monologue might just be your superpower.

You ever catch yourself saying “okay, you got this” before something stressful? Or mumbling “where did I keep my phone…” while looking for it—even when no one’s around? It’s not weird. You’re not crazy. You’re just doing something incredibly human—talking to yourself. And guess what? Psychologists say this inner dialogue is not only normal—it’s one of the smartest things your brain can do.

What Even Is Self-Talk?

First off, let’s ditch the myth that only “crazy” people talk to themselves. According to psychologist Lev Vygotsky, self-talk is part of how we develop internal thinking in the first place. As children, we talk out loud to guide our actions (“now I pick the rainbow crayon”)—but over time, that external speech turns inward.

This is what psychologists call inner speech, and over time it becomes the mental dialogue you use to problem-solve, motivate, and regulate your emotions. In short? Self-talk is thinking—just with better acoustics.

The Brain’s Dress Rehearsal Room

Ever practiced an entire conversation in your head before it even happened? That’s mental rehearsal, and it’s one of the main functions of inner speech. Athletes do it before a big game. Public speakers do it before a talk. Even astronauts rehearse scenarios in their heads. According to sports psychologists, positive self-talk boosts performance, increases focus, and reduces anxiety under pressure. It’s not really about being fake or overly confident. It’s about preparing your mind for what’s coming—and giving it a script to follow when things get hard.

Self-Talk as Emotional Regulation

There’s a reason you instinctively say “it’s okay, it’s okay” like a hundred times when you’re panicking. Or “breathe” when your heart’s racing. Or even “I hate this” just to let something out. Self-talk helps you process feelings in real time. In fact, research from the University of Michigan shows that referring to yourself in the third person (“You shall be fine, Urvee”) helps create emotional distance, giving you space from overwhelming emotions and helping you think more clearly. It’s like being both the narrator and the main character of your story but in separate spaces.

The Two Types of Inner Voice

According to psychologists, your inner speech tends to fall into two categories:

1. Instructional self-talk (“Now we press that button, then we walk away”)

2. Motivational self-talk (“You’ve done this before, you can do it again”)

Both are significantly useful, and we tend to switch between them without even noticing. But motivational self-talk is especially powerful during stress. In a case study, participants who used motivational language during a challenging task showed increased perseverance and confidence, even when they made mistakes.

So basically the way you talk to yourself can change how you perform.

Okay, But Isn’t Talking to Yourself... Kinda Unhinged?

Let’s clear that up real quick: no.

Self-talk ≠ mental illness (or schizophrenia or maladaptive daydreaming).

In fact, it’s incredibly normal.All of us have an internal monologue—it just varies in amplitude or loudness. Some people verbalize their thoughts, speaking them into existence, while others keep it all inside. But either way, it’s part of how your brain processes, plans, and copes. Even Einstein was known to repeat phrases and questions out loud while solving problems.

If anything, not having some form of internal dialogue might be unusual. (Some studies show that a small percentage of people experience more abstract thought or imagery instead of words—but that’s a different thing entirely.)

When the Voice Turns Against You

Although that being said, not all self-talk is helpful. Sometimes that inner voice of ours becomes a critic.

“You’re so dumb.”

“Why do you always mess things up?”

“What is wrong with me?”

Sound familiar? It’s not just you. Negative self-talk is incredibly common, especially during teenage years or times of stress. But left unchecked, it can fuel anxiety, low self-esteem, and even depression.

The good news is that you can retrain that voice.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy involves identifying distorted thoughts and replacing them with more accurate, compassionate ones. It’s not about toxic positivity—it’s about speaking to yourself the way you would to someone you actually love.

Out Loud vs. In Your Head

You’ve probably seen an athlete mouthing something before a serve. A student whispering under their breath during a math exam. A singer pacing backstage, murmuring affirmations.

It works.

Self-talk improves working memory, reduces performance anxiety, and increases task focus, especially when things get intense.

One meta-analysis in Perspectives on Psychological Science even showed that structured self-talk can significantly improve physical performance and skill execution. And it's not just saying nice things—it's saying the right things at the right time.

Conclusion

Talking to yourself isn’t something to be embarrassed about. It’s not weird, and it’s definitely not crazy—it’s actually a sign that your brain is working real hard.

Your inner voice is your oldest and most consistent companion. It’s seen you through breakdowns, glow-ups, exams, heartbreaks, 3 a.m. spirals, and random bursts of confidence.

So the next time you catch yourself whispering, narrating, hyping, or comforting yourself—don’t shut it down. Listen to it. That voice is you.

And when used with care, it's one of the most powerful tools you’ll ever have.

Reference List

Alexander Tibor Latinjak and Antonis Hatzigeorgiadis (2020). Self-talk in Sport. [online] ResearchGate. Available at: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/339870585_Self-talk_in_Sport.

Beck, J. (2011). Cognitive behavior therapy: Basics and beyond, 2nd ed. [online] psycnet.apa.org. Available at: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2011-22098-000.

Brinthaupt, T.M. and Dove, C.T. (2012). Differences in self-talk frequency as a function of age, only-child, and imaginary childhood companion status. Journal of Research in Personality, 46(3), pp.326–333. doi:https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2012.03.003.

Hardy, J. (2006). Speaking clearly: a Critical Review of the self-talk Literature. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, [online] 7(1), pp.81–97. doi:https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychsport.2005.04.002.

Kross, E., Bruehlman-Senecal, E., Park, J., Burson, A., Dougherty, A., Shablack, H., Bremner, R., Moser, J. and Ayduk, O. (2014). Self-talk as a regulatory mechanism: How you do it matters. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 106(2), pp.304–324. doi:https://doi.org/10.1037/a0035173.

Morin, A. (2005). Possible links between self-awareness and inner speech. [online] ResearchGate. Available at: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/281130176_Possible_links_between_self-awareness_and_inner_speech.

Vygotsky, L.S. (1965). Thought and Language. [online] MIT Press. Available at: https://mitpress.mit.edu/9780262720014/thought-and-language/.